i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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