Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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