he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
