I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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