Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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