My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
