I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
