Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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