Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
