On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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