I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize