I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He has the fingertips of a God
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