Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
