By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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