Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
