Jerry, you need to find god
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
