i think my mom watched the whole time
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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