so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
