hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
