this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
