I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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