I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
