i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
love makes seman taste better
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize