U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
