I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize