I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
