Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
