I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
