You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
