I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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