we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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