Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I smell stomach acid.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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