I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Randomize
