i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
