never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
