spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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