It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
