i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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