Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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