i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
