so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
