Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
