I just cut my nipple shaving
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
