I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
