does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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