have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
