I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
