Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
