if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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