So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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