Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
