I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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