this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
