I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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