no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
FUCK WHALES
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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