Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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