i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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