sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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