At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Drunk is not a location!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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