thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
