Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
