its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
