I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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