My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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