oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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