Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I love having hate sex.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
